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Kids in their early teens typically rebel against their parents, choosing friends over family. Those who don't pull away and want to please their parents usually do better at school.

That's the conclusion of a study that compared young teens in the U.S. and China, their attitudes toward their parents, and their academic achievements.

"U.S. children feel less obligated toward their parents, and less concerned with showing their parents they are responsible members of the family," says study author Eva Pomerantz, Ph.D., at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. "You don't see that decline in Chinese kids."

Two-year study

Dr. Pomerantz and her colleagues tracked 825 children ages 11 to 14 in suburban Chicago and China over two years. They asked the students how much they trusted their parents, how much time they needed to spend at home, and how important it was to do well in school to please their parents.

In both the U.S. and China, students who felt an obligation to their parents and wanted to please them did better academically.

"Kids who have these high-quality relationships, who feel they can trust their parents and who feel close to their parents, also feel more responsible for their parents," says Dr. Pomerantz. "This sense of connection and closeness plays a role in academic achievement."

Drop in interest, drop in grades

Although both groups of students felt less interest in school as time passed, only in the U.S. was that decline in interest reflected in lower grades. Chinese students kept their grades up even though they didn't enjoy school as much as when they were younger.

How can U.S. parents encourage their teens to stay engaged in school?

Experts suggest setting high expectations and making those expectations clear - but also keeping in mind that adolescence is a time for children to develop their own identity, to learn the autonomy necessary to be a successful adult.

"The key part of parenting is not to have such control over children that they aren't able to have a sense of control and identity, but at the same time to offer them the structure and guidance they need," says Louis Kraus, M.D., at Rush University Medical Center in Chicago.

Always talk with your health care provider to find out more information.