PQ: How do I tell a girl I don't like her?

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PQ: How do I tell a girl I don't like her?
How do you tell a girl you don't like her as a girlfriend?

It happens a lot — someone likes you, but you don't like the person back, at least not in that way. What's a guy to do? Ignoring her would be rude. Telling her to go away or saying "no way!" would be unkind and hurt her feelings. But not telling the truth about it doesn't work either because then she might think you like her, too.

One boy said his dad told him not to hurt the girl's feelings, which made him really confused. How do you not hurt someone's feelings when the answer is "no"?

Being honest about how you feel is always a good thing — as long as you say it kindly, without being mean on purpose. It shows the kind of person you are and it's part of being your best self. Don't forget that it's a compliment when someone likes you. Maybe she thinks you're cute, funny, kind, smart, cool — just irresistible in whatever way.

It feels good to know that someone likes you. But it doesn't feel so good when you like someone, then find out that the other person doesn't feel the same way. So she's probably going to be disappointed. Still, maybe you can think of a friendly compliment to give her when you tell her you just want to be friends.

Here's an example: "You're a nice [or cool, pretty, awesome] girl, but I like you just as a friend, not a girlfriend. I hope you're OK with that."

Good luck and we hope that works!

Reviewed by: Mary L. Gavin, MD
Date reviewed: June 2013

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